Loss of a T'hy'la
by WhiteWolfLegend
Summary: "T'hy'la please stay with me…Please, do not leave me…" Spock begged the tears falling freely. "I'm sorry Spock." What if Spocks scream was the connection of his bond-mate breaking, feeling his T'hy'la's life slip away and not being able to touch him? That all there was between them was the mere centimetres of the glass?


**A/N: So this has been on my mind for a bit... The image is on my Tumblr that I made when the little plot bunny spurned... And I know there are many fics of this scene, I just haven't read one where Spock and Jim were together so far...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own.**

* * *

**3rd POV**

The ship was in panic, many rushing to try and stabilize the thrusters but there was too much damage. Everyone knew that it would take a miracle for the power to stabilize and turn back on to stop them from hurdling towards the earth.

"Lieutenant start the evacuation of the ship." When no one moved Spock orders again, "as acting captain I order you all to evacuate the ship. I will remain behind and divert all power to life support and evacuation shuttle bays." Spock glanced around, buckling himself in as he began to form a plan.

No one dared to move as they turned to look at their First Officer. They would not leave; they would finish this to the end and find a way to prevent the Enterprise from crashing into their home world. They have done it once and they will do it again, they believed in their captain; for he didn't believe in no-win situations.

"I command you to abandon this ship!" Spock ordered again, noticing how his voice cracked as fear snuck its way to the surface. He needed to save this crew; the ones over the last few years have considered a family. He knew what it would do to his T'hy'la if he lost more crew; if he couldn't save them.

Sulu stared at the commander, "With all due respect commander… but where not going anywhere." He states firmly, before turning back to the controls and buckling himself in, the rest of the crew doing the same, their hands and eyes flying over their own stations.

As the ship began to turn Spock felt his bond-mate's adrenalin and fear spike. He couldn't reach his T'hy'la thought wise due to the block Jim had placed but it could still feel his emotions. It worried him, when Jim Kirk was determined and fearful something bad usually followed in his wake. "Gravity systems are failing, hang on. Hang on!"

"The power is 50 precent and dropping!" one of the ensigns yelled over the alarms and explosions as sparks rained down on the bridge.

* * *

Jim ran around the vast and winding walkways of the Enterprise's engineering deck with Scotty on his heels. He knew he had only limited time to fix and align the warp core back to place for Chekov to manually reroute the power or he was going to lose the rest of the ship and his crew; it was the only logical thing to do.

That's why he wasn't sorry in the least when he knocked out his chief engineer and friend before buckling him in his seat and overriding the radiation chambers door into the warp cores tube. He had too many people to save, his T'hy'la as one of them.

It took him his remaining energy to climb; he could already feel the burning sensation of the radiation take effect.

_Do not give up James, never give up! _The voice of his mother scolds him, her voice just like he remembered before he left. Before everything in his life had changed.

Taking deep breathes Jim clutched the top part of the warp core and began to kick the bottom back into alignment. Flashes of the people he loved and held dear racing across his mind with each kick.

For Pike. Kick.

For Bones, Scotty and Nyota. Kick.

For Chekov and Sulu. Kick.

For his crew. Kick.

_For Spock. _And with one last final kick the lower half slipped back into place, a blast of energy knocking him back and down into the bottom.

* * *

Spock clutched his chest in pain as his blood seemed like it was boiling, panic welling in the pit of his stomach. Something was wrong and no matter what he tried he couldn't grasp the problem; he didn't understand and that alone worried him.

"Warp core is back online!" Sulu shouts in triumph and shock.

"Maximum thrusters Mr. Sulu!" Spock ordered, relief flooding him as he heard the familiar whir of the thrusters coming to life.

"Thrusters online, standby; standby!" Sulu shouts as his hands flew over his station, the pilot next to him working just as fast as they directed all their power to them.

Everyone sighed in relief as the ship jerked and stabilized, positive feedback filling their stations.

"Shields restored! Advanced power online!" Two ensigns informed while Sulu turned to face the commander with a relief filled smile on his face.

"Altitude stabilizing." He informed, the smile never leaving his face.

"It's a miracle!"

Those three words caught Spock's attention causing his brows to pull down and his head to cock to the side. There were no such things as miracles no matter how much Jim said there were; it was illogical.

"There are… no such things…" Spock states calmly, his mind working as he tried to connect the variables as to what could have happened.

"_Engineering to bridge. Mister Spock…" _Scotty's voice calls over the communicator.

"Mister Scott," Spock said, bewildered; something in his mind screaming at him to move.

"_Sir… You better get down here… You better hurry."_ His voice cracks between and suddenly his bond to his T'hy'la explodes and agony sweeps over him. His fear skyrocketing and for once he didn't care that he was a Vulcan and in front of crew as he shot up off the captain's chair and ran.

He didn't care as he nearly knocked over Nyota or that sparks spat at him from broken parts of the corridors. All he cared about was getting to Jim as quickly as he could.

* * *

Scotty stood with tears in his eyes waiting as he watched Spock race towards him, his friend and captain behind him slowly dying. Taking one look at the chief engineer Spock knew something was wrong, so very terribly wrong. He didn't know what till he followed his bond to the warp cores containment door. His heart stuttered as his worst fear, one he thought wasn't possible lay before him behind a glass chamber door.

"Open it!" He ordered as he saw Jim inside.

"The decontamination process is not complete you will flood the whole compartment. The door is locked sir." Scotty informed his accent thick with grief as he watched the horror flood Spocks face as he kneeled at the door.

Jim gasped and panted as he pulled himself up and leaned against the metal next to the door. His hand sluggishly rising above to close the door to block off the rest of the radiation so the chamber can decontaminate. But he knew he was dying, he could feel his blood boiling and his body shutting down; there was no chance of him surviving before it completed.

"How's our ship?" he asked his T'hy'la breathlessly.

"Out of danger… You saved the crew." He informs slowly as he watched Jim struggle to breathe. He could feel the familiar sting in his eyes as tears welled in them slightly blurring his vision.

"Using what he wanted against him…" Jim started panting as he looked up into the tear filled eyes of Spock, sending him pride through his bond. "That was a nice move."

"It is what you would have done." Spock replied as he felt Jim's pride fill him. For once in his time of command did he do something so like Jim.

"And this is what you would have done. It was only logical." Jim replied breathlessly and he knew though it was the truth it wasn't the best thing to say right then as he watched his T'hy'la's face crumple and horror swell through their bond.

Spock's heart twisted as the words struck him, all the times he lectured his captain, his T'hy'la into doing the most logical course of action barged their way into the forefront of his mind. No matter what, Jim being in this position – _dying_ – was his entire fault. _He _was to be blamed.

"_No… No Spock. This wasn't your fault, this was my decision… I did it to save the crew, my family… you…"_ Jim screamed reassuringly in his mind to Spock; he wouldn't let his love blame himself.

Spock nodded reluctantly as he felt Jim's reassurance and warm thoughts push their way through the darkness. Jim was always there, always reassuring him in the rare times of doubt and grief.

"I'm scared Spock." Jim admitted out loud. "How do you do it? How do you choose not to feel this pain?" he asked but he already knew the answer. No matter what everyone else thought, Spock wasn't always the strict emotionless Vulcan he showed to everyone else.

Spock shook his head in disbelief, he refused to hear the words, feel the bond weakening between them. His hand pressed against the glass in the _ta'al_. It took all his strength to hold himself back from smashing the thin glass that separated him from his T'hy'la.

"T'hy'la please stay with me…" He gasped out, a tear spilling down his cheek as he pressed his hand harder against the glass. Jim with a breathless struggle managed to place his hand on the glass over Spocks, his heart struggling to maintain its beat. "Please, do not leave me…" Spock begged the tears falling freely.

Jim gasped as his chest seized, his eyes still locked on his loves as the darkness began to crawl and overtake his vision. He felt his fingers move to and shape into his loves species' salute.

"I'm sorry Spock." He gasped and wheezed as he felt his heart sluggishly stutter.

_I love you… _was his last thoughts before his heart gave its final beat and the darkness won.

* * *

Spock watched in agony, as he saw Jim struggle to breath, his heart fighting to remain beating. He could hear Scotty and Nyota crying behind him as he doubled over and clutched at both his chest and his heart, his forehead coming to rest on the glass as he struggled to keep his eyes open and on his T'hy'la's.

_I love you… _his Jim's voice echoed painfully across the bond before everything blurred and agony seared through his body. The bond snapping painfully tearing a scream of grief and anger from his chest and echoing around the deck.

Scotty and Nyota watched as Spock continued to scream through his grief, watching it as it morphed into anger and the cry of his bond breaking turned into one of vengeance for the man who had caused this.

Spock felt the rage of his ancestors flow through him, the rage that his species held before the time of Surak. He would seek revenge for he who took his T'hy'la from him.

"KHAAAAAAN!"

* * *

**A/N: Well I do hope you enjoyed it, it is a first for me and has been on my mind for about a week now... Sorry about the slight OOC of Spock….**


End file.
